Have you ever made a plan? Have you ever made a plan and it went off course; it just didn't turn out as you expected? Have you ever made plans for your life and they went way off course, terribly so? God has a plan for your life and Satan does too. Your plans are being influenced by One or the other.
I had a dream this morning. In that dream my family and I were on a highway heading home, but there was all kinds of construction going on and slowing down our way. Just as we got up to the thick of the construction everything stopped. We would not be able to continue for maybe an hour or so. The driver of our car decided to get out of the lane and turn around and take a different route rather than wait for the construction workers to fill in the holes ahead of us so that we could continue safely on our way.
Along the way of this new route, our driver got word that recommended he stop and have a mechanic do some alterations to the engine. He agreed, but this meant we needed a place to stay while the engine was being altered. In the dream I had a sister who didn't live too far away and she welcomed us to come and stay while the alterations were being made. (The word "alterations" is deliberately being used instead of repairs.) This sister lived in a rough neighborhood. As we entered the area we saw all kinds of sinful and unsavory enticements and evidence of crime. We were dropped off and our driver, the only adult/mature male who had been with us, left and went to see about the car.
Shortly after we had gotten to my sister's home there was a knock on the door. I opened the door as everyone else was meeting and greeting and getting settled. There was a young man at the door between the age of twenty and twenty-five years old. He was asking for $40. It wasn't clear to me why. That was a lot of money to me. I only had $80 and I needed it for our journey. The man begged me to give him $40 and said if he didn't go back with the $40 he would be killed. I agreed to give it to him, but told him to come back in a little bit and I'd have it for him. As I turned back into the house and share what had just occurred with my family I got various responses, as you can imagine. But I had a sense of foreboding. I had a sense of being drawn into a plan.
My nephews who were with us thought it all a game. My sisters were outraged. I was puzzled, internally inquiring. The young man came back a few minutes later and knocked again. At this time I was wishing our driver was back so that he could have dealt with the young man instead of me. I wanted the young man to see that there weren't just women and children in the house at that time. So I sent my three young adult nephews to answer the door as if to say, "We do have some men in the house." It was the wrong move. Instead of them guarding us, they were taken in by the stranger and enticed by him. They encouraged me to give him the $40 and wanted to go along with him to see what he was going to do with it. In fact, my nephews left and headed up the street to "check things out" and left the stranger at the door to get the money from me. As I was listening to the stranger making his plea again, I watched as my three nephews, who probably felt safe in their numbers began to walk up the street, one of them was holding a baby in his arms.
The stranger added to his request if I could give him additional funds to buy a drink from McDonald's and put on quite an act of "woe is me". I told him no about the additional funds and because I was distracted by what was transpiring with my nephews I couldn't go back into the house to get the $40 right then. I changed my focus and started yelling out to my nephews to get back in the house. There was a sense of urgency in me to get them back in the house. I told the stranger to come back in ten minutes. In my peripheral vision I saw the stranger begin to skulk away, then he straightened up and walked away with a smile on his lips. His countenance had changed. I saw a devious look about him.
I managed to get my nephews to listen to me and they turned around and came back in the house. A feeling of relief washed over me. I felt as though we'd just averted a disaster. I stood at the door for awhile praying, meditating. When I turned to go back in, I saw that my nephews had been and were being physically and verbally chastised by their mothers. They hadn't a clue. While two out of the three were still in a rear room being chastised, the other was sitting on the couch in the living room crying and looking at me and asking me, "Why? What's the big fuss about?" As I started to explain to him about the devil and his schemes, the stranger came back, this time bolder than ever. I told him I would give him the money because I promised I would and asked him if he worked? "No," he said, "he did not." I told him how hard I had to work for that little bit of money and mentioned that he could have washed some windshields or cut some one's lawn or something of the sort to earn money. Now he became belligerent, angry and I saw that he had a gun. He threatened me and told me he could kill me. I had every intention of giving him the money; I just wanted to deposit a little more than just money into his life.
He became unreasonably irate. I said to him, "Sir, you can shoot me and kill this body, but you can't kill my soul. If you were to kill me now, I would then be with my Savior. You can't do anything to me unless my Father allows you to." Then I said, "Jesus loves you." I gave him the money and turned and went back in the house.
When I went back in the house my nephews were a little more inclined to listen to what I had to say. I shared the following with them: "God has a plan for your life, but Satan does too and Satan's plan is to entice you and destroy you. God says, 'Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood...' My sons, listen to your fathers' instructions. Broad is the way that leads to destruction, but narrow is the way that leads to life..." "My son, pay attention to my wisdom, listen well to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave." Then I woke up.
As I awoke I cried out to Jesus and kept repeating His name: "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus; the blood of Jesus." I prayed for my nephews. I turned to Ephesians and read chapter 6:10-20. I then turned to Proverbs and read chapters 1, 2 and 3. Repeatedly Solomon said, "My son; listen my son. My son, if you accept my words... My son, do not forget my teaching..."
Some of the passages that stood out to me were: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline" (Proverbs 1:7). "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck Proverbs 1:8-9).
"My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them. If they say, 'Come along with us...we will get all sorts of valuable things and fill our houses with plunder; throw in your lot with us...my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths; for their feet rush into sin, they are swift to shed blood" (Proverbs 1:10-16).
"For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; but whoever listens to me (wisdom) will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm" (Proverbs 1:32-33).
"My son, if you accept my words and store up my command within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then, you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God..." (Proverbs 2:1-5)
"My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man" (Proverbs 3:1-5).
The plan: In this dream, Satan's plan was to turn us off course and destroy our young men- but God! God intervened. God had a different plan. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28-29).
Our vision is limited. We can see but so far. But God who is high and lifted up, sees all. As one who can see the bigger picture from an aerial view or from a plane, God sees infinitely more from his view enthroned on high. We are also so very impatient when circumstances arise which can influence us to divert off our godly course. But thank God for his faithfulness, his love and his plan.
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord.
'As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"
~ Isaiah 55:8-9
Celebrating Men
Predator, Protector or Confused?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Due Diligence
I have heard the following Scripture quoted and recited over and over again: "'...For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord..." Jeremiah 29:11-12. However, I have never heard it quoted within its full context. It is in its full context that I find this promise most fruitful.
In the previous verses beginning with verse 4 it is written: "This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon. 'Build houses and settle down, plant gardens and eat what they produce...Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper'... This is what the Lord says, 'When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you..."
After reading this passage this morning I was reminded of a due diligence process I underwent recently while applying for a couple of jobs in the financial field. I found the process extensive and tedious but also educational and rewarding. In the passage above God made some promises to Israel but it's his declaration and instruction before the promises that caught my attention this time. He says that, he, God, carried the Israelites into exile which would last for seventy years! (We know from reading the book of Jeremiah that God punished the Israelites in this way due to their rebellion.) But God still loved them and instructed them to build, prosper and pray for the cities he exiled them to so that they could prosper. Then after seventy years he would bring them out of exile. The nation of Israel was being corrected, chastised, and during that process pruned and developed before bringing them into their next season. God told them to pray for their cities that they would prosper, to marry and give in marriage; build houses and gardens. But they would remain in exile, in captivity for seventy years before he brought them out...
I saw this as a spiritual due diligence. God will test us. He will try us. He will allow us to go through trials and tribulations for our own spiritual and character development. It is, if you will, his due diligence process. Abraham went through it. He waited twenty-four years for the son promised him and then was told to offer him up as a sacrifice. Moses went through it. Joseph went through it. David went through it. Everyone who follows God goes through it and the greater the calling, the greater the due diligence process.
My mind switched from the spiritual due diligence process to a more natural one that again, I find many fail to process. This other due diligence is one of relationships, especially that of courtship for marriage. In many cultures around the world there is still a due diligence process associated with finding a proper or compatible mate. However, in the US, eight times out of ten, we've abandoned this valuable process and embraced a Hollywood, cotton candy or "if it feels good, do it" approach to marriage and relationships. This is true even in many Christian circles. The problem with feelings is that they change pretty quickly when tried. Feelings are fickle and quite frankly, making such decisions based on how we feel at the moment is not biblical. We are instructed to "walk by faith, not by sight". We are instructed to "Count it all joy when we go through diverse trials and tribulations because we know that the trying of our faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete." (James 1:2-4 )
I am amazed at how many times over the years that I have been encouraged to get married because 1) "I'm not getting any younger," 2) "He's a good guy," 3) "He's a Christian," 4) "He's well established," and so on. When I didn't budge I would then be accused of being a perfectionist or asked, "What's wrong with him?" or "What's wrong with you?"
As on many resumes and job applications, it's been proven that many people lie. They put their best foot forward and go beyond their best and begin to fabricate qualities. The same applies in many relationships initially. We put our best foot and face forward. However, over time and when quality time is spent with most individuals, their true character and their level of faith in God is revealed. Surely, if God tests us to see what is in our hearts, we ought to test a prospective spouse. Even some animals and birds like the eagle, have mating rituals to test for the appropriate mates.
Do you have a due diligence process? It would be interesting to learn what process you use. I recommend you saturate the process with prayer. Repeatedly in the passage I used for today I read where God instructed the Israelites to pray for or pray and seek God for peace and prosperity. When you pray about these matters, if don't you get an answer, don't move forward-wait. What's the rush? On your own you'll just mess it up anyway and have to start the process all over again. You have to learn to do your due diligence. How does this person handle themself in various situations? How do they handle money matters? Do they have integrity with others? What is their spiritual and general goals in life? Are they spiritually compatible? Having said all that, has God given you the green light to move forward? If not, wait, there's a reason or a lesson God wants to teach you. He may be pruning and preparing you. The timing may not be right just yet.
There is someone that's been apart of my life for seventeen years. Nothing "wrong" with him and nothing "wrong" with me. In my mind and spirit, we were not compatible. Something was always missing. He'd asked me several times to get married and I could not give him a positive answer. However, twice over the years of our friendship and off and on relationship, I had convinced myself to marry him. Both times when I tried to tell him "yes," the Holy Spirit stopped me and we would go through a period of silence for months or even years. I just thought he wasn't the one.
Then, a month ago, after I completely surrendered my desire for marriage to God, meaning, whichever state God wanted for me to be in was fine with me. Within a week God revealed to me that this friend of mine who'd been in my life for so long was indeed God's choice for me. Having said that, however, I still don't know when. In the meantime, I continue to have plenty to do in service to the Lord while I wait for God to bring that revelation to reality. It's all about God's timing, not mine or ours. We're still under God's pruning knife. My friend told me several months ago that he knows that I'm the one for him. I didn't have the same conviction at the time. I do now but due to our special circumstances, we have to wait a while longer for God to bring it to pass.
Submit to God's due diligence in your spiritual walk and develop due diligence in your courtship process. It will be challenging at times but the end thereof will be so much more rewarding.
See yesterday's post: How to Address Your Woman & Weight Issues
My other blog: www.wealthofcharacter.blogspot.com
Most recent post: Are We Confused? (3/22/12)
In the previous verses beginning with verse 4 it is written: "This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon. 'Build houses and settle down, plant gardens and eat what they produce...Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper'... This is what the Lord says, 'When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you..."
After reading this passage this morning I was reminded of a due diligence process I underwent recently while applying for a couple of jobs in the financial field. I found the process extensive and tedious but also educational and rewarding. In the passage above God made some promises to Israel but it's his declaration and instruction before the promises that caught my attention this time. He says that, he, God, carried the Israelites into exile which would last for seventy years! (We know from reading the book of Jeremiah that God punished the Israelites in this way due to their rebellion.) But God still loved them and instructed them to build, prosper and pray for the cities he exiled them to so that they could prosper. Then after seventy years he would bring them out of exile. The nation of Israel was being corrected, chastised, and during that process pruned and developed before bringing them into their next season. God told them to pray for their cities that they would prosper, to marry and give in marriage; build houses and gardens. But they would remain in exile, in captivity for seventy years before he brought them out...
I saw this as a spiritual due diligence. God will test us. He will try us. He will allow us to go through trials and tribulations for our own spiritual and character development. It is, if you will, his due diligence process. Abraham went through it. He waited twenty-four years for the son promised him and then was told to offer him up as a sacrifice. Moses went through it. Joseph went through it. David went through it. Everyone who follows God goes through it and the greater the calling, the greater the due diligence process.
My mind switched from the spiritual due diligence process to a more natural one that again, I find many fail to process. This other due diligence is one of relationships, especially that of courtship for marriage. In many cultures around the world there is still a due diligence process associated with finding a proper or compatible mate. However, in the US, eight times out of ten, we've abandoned this valuable process and embraced a Hollywood, cotton candy or "if it feels good, do it" approach to marriage and relationships. This is true even in many Christian circles. The problem with feelings is that they change pretty quickly when tried. Feelings are fickle and quite frankly, making such decisions based on how we feel at the moment is not biblical. We are instructed to "walk by faith, not by sight". We are instructed to "Count it all joy when we go through diverse trials and tribulations because we know that the trying of our faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete." (James 1:2-4 )
I am amazed at how many times over the years that I have been encouraged to get married because 1) "I'm not getting any younger," 2) "He's a good guy," 3) "He's a Christian," 4) "He's well established," and so on. When I didn't budge I would then be accused of being a perfectionist or asked, "What's wrong with him?" or "What's wrong with you?"
As on many resumes and job applications, it's been proven that many people lie. They put their best foot forward and go beyond their best and begin to fabricate qualities. The same applies in many relationships initially. We put our best foot and face forward. However, over time and when quality time is spent with most individuals, their true character and their level of faith in God is revealed. Surely, if God tests us to see what is in our hearts, we ought to test a prospective spouse. Even some animals and birds like the eagle, have mating rituals to test for the appropriate mates.
Do you have a due diligence process? It would be interesting to learn what process you use. I recommend you saturate the process with prayer. Repeatedly in the passage I used for today I read where God instructed the Israelites to pray for or pray and seek God for peace and prosperity. When you pray about these matters, if don't you get an answer, don't move forward-wait. What's the rush? On your own you'll just mess it up anyway and have to start the process all over again. You have to learn to do your due diligence. How does this person handle themself in various situations? How do they handle money matters? Do they have integrity with others? What is their spiritual and general goals in life? Are they spiritually compatible? Having said all that, has God given you the green light to move forward? If not, wait, there's a reason or a lesson God wants to teach you. He may be pruning and preparing you. The timing may not be right just yet.
There is someone that's been apart of my life for seventeen years. Nothing "wrong" with him and nothing "wrong" with me. In my mind and spirit, we were not compatible. Something was always missing. He'd asked me several times to get married and I could not give him a positive answer. However, twice over the years of our friendship and off and on relationship, I had convinced myself to marry him. Both times when I tried to tell him "yes," the Holy Spirit stopped me and we would go through a period of silence for months or even years. I just thought he wasn't the one.
Then, a month ago, after I completely surrendered my desire for marriage to God, meaning, whichever state God wanted for me to be in was fine with me. Within a week God revealed to me that this friend of mine who'd been in my life for so long was indeed God's choice for me. Having said that, however, I still don't know when. In the meantime, I continue to have plenty to do in service to the Lord while I wait for God to bring that revelation to reality. It's all about God's timing, not mine or ours. We're still under God's pruning knife. My friend told me several months ago that he knows that I'm the one for him. I didn't have the same conviction at the time. I do now but due to our special circumstances, we have to wait a while longer for God to bring it to pass.
Submit to God's due diligence in your spiritual walk and develop due diligence in your courtship process. It will be challenging at times but the end thereof will be so much more rewarding.
See yesterday's post: How to Address Your Woman & Weight Issues
My other blog: www.wealthofcharacter.blogspot.com
Most recent post: Are We Confused? (3/22/12)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
How To Address Your Woman With Weight Issues
Understanding Women & Weight
Recently I sent a long time male friend of mine a message bemoaning the fact that I was gaining weight and felt "uncomfortable in my own skin." Due to hyperthyroidism, I'd become severely under weight and fought to gain the weight back. Not only did I gain the weight back, I exceeded my normal weight by a few pounds, I shared briefly. This friend who'd been more than just a friend at various times over the years thought I was being funny and suggested that I could gain another two-three pounds as far as he was concerned.
This may sound trivial to you, but many women are very sensitive about their weight. I would have thought that by now, if you're at least over thirty years old that most men would know this and have learned how to address it when the subject arose. I have heard many male friends complain about their girlfriend's or wife's weight over the years, in particular, that they've gained too much weight. I am very aware how important a woman's physical appearance is to her mate or perspective mate. It's important that you find her to be attractive. The media certainly exploits this knowledge.
I didn't respond to my friend's response. I simply had no comment. He's always thought that I could stand to gain a few pounds. However, a few days later as I gained another two pounds I became slightly discouraged. I didn't know if it was due to my getting older and my metabolism slowing down, though I was eating healthily, but due to schedule changes, I was actually eating less. Or, was the thyroid medication becoming too much and it needed to be adjusted. All of a sudden I became discouraged because I felt that my friend could have asked how or what I was doing about it or suggested I see my doctor to get checked out instead of pointing out that I could stand to gain a few more pounds, which to him would look good on me.
Okay, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, a word of advice. In most cases I know that it's the reverse concern, that your mate or significant other is too heavy and you would like to see her lose a few pounds. Note that any time a woman mentions her weight to you, walk carefully. It is not the time to talk about your desires or needs. She's hurting and reaching out and needs comfort and encouragement. It's just not about you at that time. Prayerfully, console her, but don't lie. Hopefully, you still think she looks good even if not ideal. Share the fact that she still looks good to you. She needs to hear that first and foremost. Then ask her some questions before giving criticism or advice. Some questions you can ask are: What's bothering you about the weight? What do you want to do about it? How can I help? Show concern and caring. You'll gain an incredible amount of brownie points or place huge deposits into her love bank which in turn will benefit you immediately and pay long term dividends.
Women are very conscious about how they look and want to look good to you. The media is telling us how we should look to be beautiful and many of us know we don't quite fit the model. We certainly don't need to hear about our physical short comings in a negative light from our close friends or mates. (Note, I did not say we didn't need to hear about them, just not in a negative light.) It's like a parent who has to learn how to encourage or edify their child who is making poor choices in life and because you love that child you want to steer them in the right direction. As parenting counsel is typically more important and has greater influence in the life of a child than any other, so your loving, listening ear and gentle counsel in regards to this very sensitive issue in your mate's life, is very important to her self-esteem and growth as well as her achieving a healthy weight.
One more note, none of us are perfect. We all fall short in various ways. But, be consistent, patient and wise. In most cases, wait for her to introduce the subject, unless you feel spiritually led to do otherwise. Regularly reinforce how good she looks to you. This encourages her to do more to look good to you. Repeatedly ask how you can help, because things may change along the way. Don't harp on the issue, however. Compliment, compliment, compliment. Look for specific areas to sincerely compliment her on her progress. You're going to love the results of your investment in her.
I would love to hear whether this tidbit was helpful to you. Please comment.
Recently I sent a long time male friend of mine a message bemoaning the fact that I was gaining weight and felt "uncomfortable in my own skin." Due to hyperthyroidism, I'd become severely under weight and fought to gain the weight back. Not only did I gain the weight back, I exceeded my normal weight by a few pounds, I shared briefly. This friend who'd been more than just a friend at various times over the years thought I was being funny and suggested that I could gain another two-three pounds as far as he was concerned.
This may sound trivial to you, but many women are very sensitive about their weight. I would have thought that by now, if you're at least over thirty years old that most men would know this and have learned how to address it when the subject arose. I have heard many male friends complain about their girlfriend's or wife's weight over the years, in particular, that they've gained too much weight. I am very aware how important a woman's physical appearance is to her mate or perspective mate. It's important that you find her to be attractive. The media certainly exploits this knowledge.
I didn't respond to my friend's response. I simply had no comment. He's always thought that I could stand to gain a few pounds. However, a few days later as I gained another two pounds I became slightly discouraged. I didn't know if it was due to my getting older and my metabolism slowing down, though I was eating healthily, but due to schedule changes, I was actually eating less. Or, was the thyroid medication becoming too much and it needed to be adjusted. All of a sudden I became discouraged because I felt that my friend could have asked how or what I was doing about it or suggested I see my doctor to get checked out instead of pointing out that I could stand to gain a few more pounds, which to him would look good on me.
Okay, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, a word of advice. In most cases I know that it's the reverse concern, that your mate or significant other is too heavy and you would like to see her lose a few pounds. Note that any time a woman mentions her weight to you, walk carefully. It is not the time to talk about your desires or needs. She's hurting and reaching out and needs comfort and encouragement. It's just not about you at that time. Prayerfully, console her, but don't lie. Hopefully, you still think she looks good even if not ideal. Share the fact that she still looks good to you. She needs to hear that first and foremost. Then ask her some questions before giving criticism or advice. Some questions you can ask are: What's bothering you about the weight? What do you want to do about it? How can I help? Show concern and caring. You'll gain an incredible amount of brownie points or place huge deposits into her love bank which in turn will benefit you immediately and pay long term dividends.
Women are very conscious about how they look and want to look good to you. The media is telling us how we should look to be beautiful and many of us know we don't quite fit the model. We certainly don't need to hear about our physical short comings in a negative light from our close friends or mates. (Note, I did not say we didn't need to hear about them, just not in a negative light.) It's like a parent who has to learn how to encourage or edify their child who is making poor choices in life and because you love that child you want to steer them in the right direction. As parenting counsel is typically more important and has greater influence in the life of a child than any other, so your loving, listening ear and gentle counsel in regards to this very sensitive issue in your mate's life, is very important to her self-esteem and growth as well as her achieving a healthy weight.
One more note, none of us are perfect. We all fall short in various ways. But, be consistent, patient and wise. In most cases, wait for her to introduce the subject, unless you feel spiritually led to do otherwise. Regularly reinforce how good she looks to you. This encourages her to do more to look good to you. Repeatedly ask how you can help, because things may change along the way. Don't harp on the issue, however. Compliment, compliment, compliment. Look for specific areas to sincerely compliment her on her progress. You're going to love the results of your investment in her.
I would love to hear whether this tidbit was helpful to you. Please comment.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
RELATIONSHIP PREMIUMS
- Health Insurance Premiums
- Life Insurance Premiums
- Auto & Home Insurance Premiums
- Relationship Premiums?
Many of us do not fail to pay our health, life or auto/home insurance premiums, but we fail to pay into our marriages, our children, our sibling relationships and wonder why the relationships do not flourish. Many hate paying insurance premiums, but want the benefits of our policies when it's time for recompense. Then we're glad we made the premiums. None of us are perfect. I am speaking to myself as much as to anyone else. I suppose relationship premiums are much higher than any of the other premiums. It costs us ourselves. It diminishes our selfcenteredness. It's much more expensive than all the other premiums and more valuable. The benefits are far greater in the long term than any other investment or premium, but too often we fail to recognize it. Sometimes it is not until the "policy" is about to lapse or has lapsed that we realize how great the loss of the benefit of it is to us.
This post is just an encouragement to you today to stop for a minute and evaluate the value of your relationship in perspective to the amount of time spent on things and activities. Look at the big picture, the long term impact and yes, the benefits or importance of them. The messages I see and hear all around me, from Christians and non-Christians alike are sometimes discouraging, but I thank God for His grace, His mercy, His love and His Son. When we fall short, recognize it and repent, His grace is sufficient to restore and heal any relationship. On our own, we are simply incapable of being completely selfless. Let's face it, we are self-centered beings. Jesus showed the way by his incredible example and then gave us His Spirit to enable us to be like him. However, it's a process, it's a daily walk, a daily battle with our flesh. I love the illustration the Apostle Paul gives of this process in 1 Cor. 9:19-27 (read it the full context when you get a chance), I'll only quote the last few verses:
"Do you not know that in a race, all the runners run but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the race goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
Paul was describing his call to reach the lost and the sacrifice to self do so. His message, however, is to all of us. He likens the secular races, the Olympics and any serious sport or endeavor for which one trains their mind and body to accomplish great things to God's call on our lives. As in the Olympics, the athletes train hard and long at great cost to themselves and often their families. They exercise great discipline to accomplish masterful feats. The same can be said of several other sports that are not included in the Olympics and of other masterful endeavors such as the pursuit of higher education and professional careers. These are all good in proper perspective. I say in proper perspective because Jesus said, "What good is it if a man gains the whole world and loses his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matt. 16:26-27)
Jesus sums up relationships and God's premium on relationships like this, first "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind...and the second is like it, 'love your neighbor as yourself." (Matt. 22:37-39) God puts a premium on our relationship with Him and a premium on our relationship with each other. God's premium on relationships cost Him His Son! That is how much He values us. He knows us better than we do ourselves. He knows the wickedness and potential for evil within us, yet He still loves us and sent His Son to redeem us from ourselves because we can't regenerate a purer self. Corruption breeds corruption. Sinfulness breeds sinfulness and as He said in Romans 3:23, "the wages of sin is death". So God gave us His Son, His Gift to save us from that death.
The "second" relationship premium, to "love your neighbor as yourself" is impossible without implementing the first policy or command. We are incapable of loving our neighbors, our families, our enemies, our co-workers, our bosses and our government officials as ourselves, until we first surrender ourselves to God in obedience and love Him first with all our hearts, all our souls and all our minds.
If we want a more fulfilled life, fulfillment does not come through acquiring things. Only limited fulfillment is attained through the accomplishment of trophies, degrees and magnanimous awards. Fulfillment and true success comes through fulfilled and fulfilling relationships. So take some time to evaluate the relationships in your life. Take the time to evaluate the long term value of your relationships and invest in them wisely. I encourage you not to invest in them solely because you see the long term benefit to yourself, for that would still primarily be for selfish gain. Invest in them out of love for God, as an expression of love for God. You see, our love, man's love can be fragile and contingent, but God's love is in- exhaustive. When we continually surrender ourselves to Him, He fills us with His love and renews us when we fall or feel weak. He lifts us up and gives us the courage to keep on loving, to keep on hoping, to keep on forgiving, to keep on trusting, to keep on giving. For God's love - the love He is developing in us, "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Cor. 13:4-8)
Invest, pay the sacrificial premium for the relationships in your life and put a premium, a high value on them, after all, God did.
If you like this post, please also visit my other blog: http://www.wealthofcharacter.blogspot.com/
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Don't Believe the Hype
Everywhere we turn in today's society we are inundated with messages about or alluding to sex. Satan has saturated our society with sexually immoral messages. It's in most television shows and commercials, the movies, the billboards, magazines and grocery and retail stores. Sexy fashions are boldly displayed in retail store windows on mannequins, posters and on bodies, young and old. Book covers, calendars, bumper stickers, girls standing by the roadside with advertising signs; everywhere we look we see images of sex and sensuality. After awhile you can't help but think, "everyone is doing it," or "this is the norm." Therefore, when one comes along who does not follow the hype, he or she is viewed as abnormal.
"Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" (1 Cor. 15:33) It's important to watch the company you keep. What is that saying, "Birds of a feather flock together"? We need to do a better job at fleshing out the Word of God, that includes, not being ashamed to share our testimony so that others would be encouraged and not feel alone. John recorded in Revelations 12:11 that we will overcome our accuser by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. We need to speak up.
Elijah, the prophet in 1 Kings 19 felt all alone after being rejected by the Israelites and found himself running for his life because King Ahab had killed all the other prophets and Ahab's wife, Jezebel wanted Elijah dead as well - "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely," she said, " if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." So the Lord came to Elijah and reminded him that He, God, was with him. Elijah told God, "The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too" (1 Kings 19:14), as if God didn't already know what was going on. I love the Lord's response to him, part of which was, "Yet I (have) reserved seven thousand in Israel-all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him" (Verse 18). God knows how to preserve a remnant who won't bow down to the gods of this world. Don't believe the hype!
That is all understandable, however, it should be unacceptable for the body of Christ. I find that many Christian men and women have not had their minds renewed and this is one of the underlying points that Celebrating Men addresses. I want to celebrate, uplift or honor the men who strive to do the right thing and the godly thing in all their relationships. The book isn't just addressing men in relationships with women, but with their children, their community, their marriages, their church and their friendships. The book looks at men in each of those settings; at different stages in the author's life and how they impacted her for good regardless of the initial experience, whether it was good or painful.
The testimony shared, I believe, is uplifting and honoring, however, it doesn't ignore the faults of the men involved and recognizes that none of us are perfect and neither were they. That does not mean there aren't aspects and qualities worth honoring. The author also encourages, and yes, appeals to men, especially Christian men, to renew their minds in regards to how they relate to girls and women.
As Christians, we can't afford to believe the hype of the world or ascribe to the world's view concerning most relationships. If we are truly disciples of Christ, which is where the term "Christian" is derived, then as Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:16, "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view...Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come!"
I have a couple of male friends that are in their forties that are also virgins. They became Believers as teenagers. One has three degrees (Engineer, MBA, and Law degree), the other is an officer in the military and they're both attractive men. I also know of a couple other women, two of which married at age 45 and both were virgins when they married. I am not such an anomaly after all then. Maybe to the world in this age I (we) are, but to the body of Christ, I (we) should not be. The voice of the North American/European world is simply louder. There are many Christians and some non-Christians, that are out there waiting for marriage before becoming sexually active.
Elijah, the prophet in 1 Kings 19 felt all alone after being rejected by the Israelites and found himself running for his life because King Ahab had killed all the other prophets and Ahab's wife, Jezebel wanted Elijah dead as well - "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely," she said, " if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." So the Lord came to Elijah and reminded him that He, God, was with him. Elijah told God, "The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too" (1 Kings 19:14), as if God didn't already know what was going on. I love the Lord's response to him, part of which was, "Yet I (have) reserved seven thousand in Israel-all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him" (Verse 18). God knows how to preserve a remnant who won't bow down to the gods of this world. Don't believe the hype!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Weighing In
Recently I received an overall review of this site and of my book that indicated that I was addressing what a man is. I honestly hadn't thought I was addressing the makeup of a man. From my point of view, which notably is from a Christian perspective, I was recognizing the powerful and influential role of men in our lives; encouraging more awareness of this and encouraging more men to consider operating in their protective role more so than in their predatory role. There is reference in both the book and blog that some men are confused about their role. I suppose by making that reference I am making a type of judgment on what a true or biblically defined man is. Well then, I guess it is so.
The reviewer commented that he'd heard many definitions of men and since he was not a Christian, my definition did not really apply to him. However, commented later on his review that he did agree with my overall description and appeal to the integrity and honor of men was universal, transcending religion. If you don't mind, I would like for you to weigh in. If you have read the book or read some of my blog posts, do you find that my focus is on defining what a man is or primarily what he, man, should aspire to be? I think there is a marked difference.
I make no argument that my foundation for the aspiration of manhood, the ideal of the most productive and beneficial man to his family and society, is a biblical one. Just because I use the Bible as my guide, however, this does not mean that the basic values of integrity, honor, leadership and man's role in society and family are not largely universal. (I say largely, because I am aware of changing culture in some countries that are espousing homosexuality and same sex marriages. I am also aware that in a few ancient cultures, matriarchal rule was the core of their culture. There is only one culture I have found that still practices a quasi-matriarchal rule today: the Mosuo in the Xiaolianghshan Mountains of the Yunnin Province in China.)
Granted, there are all kinds of conversations ensuing today on manhood and leadership. Please note that any discussion I engage in concerning the matter will always seek to be uplifting but also real. My discussions will also inevitably reference the Bible, in particular, Christ, as the guide for manhood. It has been brought to my attention that the values of manhood I espouse in my book and on this site predate Christianity. I agree. I don't agree, however, that it predates the account of creation given in Genesis of the Bible, the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Tenakh (Hebrew and partly Aramaic "Bible") in which God said He created man in His own image. That is not to say that there are not other, possibly even older writings that espouse the same values of manhood or that some cultures practised these values of manhood before the Torah was enacted and later transcribed. I do believe, however, that the epitome of manhood is found in Christ who is as the Bible states, the fulfillment of the Law, the Torah, i.e.,, the embodiment of the Law, the completion of it. (See footnotes for references.) God, who created man in His own image, sent His Son, Jesus, to demonstrate manhood and the ideal mankind to mankind. So, why would I look to flawed humanity, with its partial understandings, its misunderstandings and flawed perceptions for the perfect example of a man when the creator of man became one to show us how one should live? (If you want to argue the validity of the cannon/Bible or Tenakh, that is another discussion.)
I have heard it said, that the US Department of the Treasury and many bankers, in order to decipher counterfeit bills from authentic bills, they spend their time studying the authentic bills. They get to know them so well that when they encounter a counterfeit bill, it's more easily detected. That is why I study the Son of God who became, the Son of Man, as my model for not only man, but mankind.
Please weigh in. Your responses are welcome.
***If you are interested in viewing the entire comment that inspired the current post, please go to www.Amazon.com, the books section, type in "Celebrating Men by B. Niles" and view comment #2.
Bible Text References:
Man created in God's image: Gen.1:26-27, Gen. 2:7
Fulfillment of the law: Matt. 5:17-20, Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 2:1-3:29.
The reviewer commented that he'd heard many definitions of men and since he was not a Christian, my definition did not really apply to him. However, commented later on his review that he did agree with my overall description and appeal to the integrity and honor of men was universal, transcending religion. If you don't mind, I would like for you to weigh in. If you have read the book or read some of my blog posts, do you find that my focus is on defining what a man is or primarily what he, man, should aspire to be? I think there is a marked difference.
I make no argument that my foundation for the aspiration of manhood, the ideal of the most productive and beneficial man to his family and society, is a biblical one. Just because I use the Bible as my guide, however, this does not mean that the basic values of integrity, honor, leadership and man's role in society and family are not largely universal. (I say largely, because I am aware of changing culture in some countries that are espousing homosexuality and same sex marriages. I am also aware that in a few ancient cultures, matriarchal rule was the core of their culture. There is only one culture I have found that still practices a quasi-matriarchal rule today: the Mosuo in the Xiaolianghshan Mountains of the Yunnin Province in China.)
Granted, there are all kinds of conversations ensuing today on manhood and leadership. Please note that any discussion I engage in concerning the matter will always seek to be uplifting but also real. My discussions will also inevitably reference the Bible, in particular, Christ, as the guide for manhood. It has been brought to my attention that the values of manhood I espouse in my book and on this site predate Christianity. I agree. I don't agree, however, that it predates the account of creation given in Genesis of the Bible, the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Tenakh (Hebrew and partly Aramaic "Bible") in which God said He created man in His own image. That is not to say that there are not other, possibly even older writings that espouse the same values of manhood or that some cultures practised these values of manhood before the Torah was enacted and later transcribed. I do believe, however, that the epitome of manhood is found in Christ who is as the Bible states, the fulfillment of the Law, the Torah, i.e.,, the embodiment of the Law, the completion of it. (See footnotes for references.) God, who created man in His own image, sent His Son, Jesus, to demonstrate manhood and the ideal mankind to mankind. So, why would I look to flawed humanity, with its partial understandings, its misunderstandings and flawed perceptions for the perfect example of a man when the creator of man became one to show us how one should live? (If you want to argue the validity of the cannon/Bible or Tenakh, that is another discussion.)
I have heard it said, that the US Department of the Treasury and many bankers, in order to decipher counterfeit bills from authentic bills, they spend their time studying the authentic bills. They get to know them so well that when they encounter a counterfeit bill, it's more easily detected. That is why I study the Son of God who became, the Son of Man, as my model for not only man, but mankind.
Please weigh in. Your responses are welcome.
***If you are interested in viewing the entire comment that inspired the current post, please go to www.Amazon.com, the books section, type in "Celebrating Men by B. Niles" and view comment #2.
Bible Text References:
Man created in God's image: Gen.1:26-27, Gen. 2:7
Fulfillment of the law: Matt. 5:17-20, Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 2:1-3:29.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Bass Voice or Bass Life?
I love a man with a deep bass voice. It just sounds so masculine to me. (We all have our idiosyncrasies and preferences. I have heard some men express that they wish their girlfriends were a little slimmer. Some of my friends in the past have repeatedly tried to get me to gain weight. I have also heard a female friend of mine express her initial concern that she was bigger than her beau. So we all have our little preferences and we are ALL fearfully and wonderfully made.) If you were to ask my sisters, what kind of man I like, they will invariably describe the man physically almost to a tee due to my previous relationships and expressed desires. They would consider a godly man to be a given.
However, I have a friend who has most of the qualities I look for in a man, but does not have much "bass" in his voice. It has troubled me a little. So I talked to the Lord about this recently and the Holy Spirit asked me, "Would you rather a man with a bass voice or a bass life?" Cool huh?! That was powerful. At first I said, both. But if I had to choose, I said I would prefer a man with a bass life. This friend of mine then, is an incredible bass.
Now what in the world am I talking about? A man with a deep bass or baritone voice signifies, without question, that he's a man (or so it used to be). If you heard such a voice on the phone you would typically associate the voice with a man and not a woman. Even if his name was "Melissa," because of the bass voice, you would automatically assume you were still speaking with a man. His life-style and manliness once you got to know him, however, might be questionable. But from first appearances, or first hearing of the voice, you might assume, he's a mans man.
I am artistic and melodic and love the sound of a bass voice. However, a man's voice is not indicative of the man himself. It is the man's life, his communication, his character, his values that determine the bass of his life and that is what the Holy Spirit was reminding me of. "Would you rather a man with a bass voice or a bass life?" My resounding answer: "A bass life."
The depth of the bass in a man's life bridges from his beliefs and values to his character. It is one thing to spout your beliefs. It's another thing to live them. Your character is most powerfully displayed when you are stripped bare or face trying times. How you respond in times of testing, whether mild or severe, displays your true character. The man that stands strong with integrity through times of severe trials, has the most beautiful bass life there is. The man that maintains his faith and convictions in spite of persecution and misunderstanding, has a beautiful bass. The man that remains faithful to God and his wife even if she has proved unfaithful, has a beautiful bass. The man who takes care of his family, has a beautiful bass. The man who doesn't cheat or lie to get ahead, has a beautiful bass. The man who has fallen short of any or all of the above and sincerely repents and seeks forgiveness and restitution, has a beautiful bass.
Without question, "...all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). I find his voice and life so beautiful, he that confesses his failures (humility), but fights daily to walk by faith and live righteously (godly). What a man! What a beautiful bass!
However, I have a friend who has most of the qualities I look for in a man, but does not have much "bass" in his voice. It has troubled me a little. So I talked to the Lord about this recently and the Holy Spirit asked me, "Would you rather a man with a bass voice or a bass life?" Cool huh?! That was powerful. At first I said, both. But if I had to choose, I said I would prefer a man with a bass life. This friend of mine then, is an incredible bass.
Now what in the world am I talking about? A man with a deep bass or baritone voice signifies, without question, that he's a man (or so it used to be). If you heard such a voice on the phone you would typically associate the voice with a man and not a woman. Even if his name was "Melissa," because of the bass voice, you would automatically assume you were still speaking with a man. His life-style and manliness once you got to know him, however, might be questionable. But from first appearances, or first hearing of the voice, you might assume, he's a mans man.
I am artistic and melodic and love the sound of a bass voice. However, a man's voice is not indicative of the man himself. It is the man's life, his communication, his character, his values that determine the bass of his life and that is what the Holy Spirit was reminding me of. "Would you rather a man with a bass voice or a bass life?" My resounding answer: "A bass life."
The depth of the bass in a man's life bridges from his beliefs and values to his character. It is one thing to spout your beliefs. It's another thing to live them. Your character is most powerfully displayed when you are stripped bare or face trying times. How you respond in times of testing, whether mild or severe, displays your true character. The man that stands strong with integrity through times of severe trials, has the most beautiful bass life there is. The man that maintains his faith and convictions in spite of persecution and misunderstanding, has a beautiful bass. The man that remains faithful to God and his wife even if she has proved unfaithful, has a beautiful bass. The man who takes care of his family, has a beautiful bass. The man who doesn't cheat or lie to get ahead, has a beautiful bass. The man who has fallen short of any or all of the above and sincerely repents and seeks forgiveness and restitution, has a beautiful bass.
Without question, "...all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). I find his voice and life so beautiful, he that confesses his failures (humility), but fights daily to walk by faith and live righteously (godly). What a man! What a beautiful bass!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)