Don't Believe the Hype

      Everywhere we turn in today's society we are inundated with messages about or alluding to sex. Satan has saturated our society with sexually immoral messages. It's in most television shows and commercials, the movies, the billboards, magazines and grocery and retail stores. Sexy fashions are boldly displayed in retail store windows on mannequins, posters and on bodies, young and old. Book covers, calendars, bumper stickers, girls standing by the roadside with advertising signs; everywhere we look we see images of sex and sensuality. After awhile you can't help but think, "everyone is doing it," or "this is the norm." Therefore, when one comes along who does not follow the hype, he or she is viewed as abnormal.

That is all understandable, however, it should be unacceptable for the body of Christ. I find that many Christian men and women have not had their minds renewed and this is one of the underlying points that Celebrating Men addresses. I want to celebrate, uplift or honor the men who strive to do the right thing and the godly thing in all their relationships. The book isn't just addressing men in relationships with women, but with their children, their community, their marriages, their church and their friendships. The book looks at men in each of those settings; at different stages in the author's life and how they impacted her for good regardless of the initial experience, whether it was good or painful.

The testimony shared, I believe, is uplifting and honoring, however, it doesn't ignore the faults of the men involved and recognizes that none of us are perfect and neither were they. That does not mean there aren't aspects and qualities worth honoring. The author also encourages, and yes, appeals to men, especially Christian men, to renew their minds in regards to how they relate to girls and women.

As Christians, we can't afford to believe the hype of the world or ascribe to the world's view concerning most relationships. If we are truly disciples of Christ, which is where the term "Christian" is derived, then as Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:16, "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view...Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come!" 

I have a couple of male friends that are in their forties that are also virgins. They became Believers as teenagers. One has three degrees (Engineer, MBA, and Law degree), the other is an officer in the military and they're both attractive men. I also know of a couple other women, two of which married at age 45 and both were virgins when they married. I am not such an anomaly after all then. Maybe to the world in this age I (we) are, but to the body of Christ, I (we) should not be. The voice of the North American/European world is simply louder. There are many Christians and some non-Christians, that are out there waiting for marriage before becoming sexually active.

"Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" (1 Cor. 15:33) It's important to watch the company you keep. What is that saying, "Birds of a feather flock together"? We need to do a better job at fleshing out the Word of God, that includes, not being ashamed to share our testimony so that others would be encouraged and not feel alone. John recorded in Revelations 12:11 that we will overcome our accuser by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. We need to speak up.

Elijah, the prophet in 1 Kings 19 felt all alone after being rejected by the Israelites and found himself running for his life because King Ahab had killed all the other prophets and Ahab's wife, Jezebel wanted Elijah dead as well - "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely," she said, " if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." So the Lord came to Elijah and reminded him that He, God, was with him. Elijah told God, "The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too" (1 Kings 19:14), as if God didn't already know what was going on. I love the Lord's response to him, part of which was, "Yet I (have) reserved seven thousand in Israel-all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him" (Verse 18). God knows how to preserve a remnant who won't bow down to the gods of this world. Don't believe the hype!

First Impressions of Manhood

"First impressions are constant in society...

good ones are pleasant and long lasting,

bad ones long and difficult to disprove."

                          ~Diego Velasquez

"Train up a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old he will not depart from it."

                          ~Proverbs 22:6

"It is better to train a child than correct a man."

                          ~Unknown

Whether you are a father or a mother, you are an example and an influence in a child's life, be it a good example or a bad one. You are the child's first and possibly the most influential instructor of the picture of manhood. Yes, mothers, you are too. How you treat your husband, how you treat your man, what you say about him in front of your children, influences their picture of manhood, just as certainly as the man's carriage of himself and behavior towards men, women and children.


Fathers, responsible fathers and father figures, we need you. It takes a village to raise a child, so when biological fathers are not present, for whatever the reason, men, step up and step in. Who knows, one day you may not be around to aid in the raising of your own child. Would you not want someone to be there for him or her to represent and nurture them in your absence? Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. Stand in the gap.


I thank God that he placed several father figures and representations of God's love for me in my life as I was growing up. I'm thankful that my mom always presented a respectful attitude towards my father, and men in general, in our presence. A healthy respect for God's order and God's creation, generates a healthy respect for oneself.

Why is a Woman Writing About Celebrating Men?

Why as a woman, do I have a book and a blog about celebrating men? What do I know about men? Those are the questions I get and some of you may be entertaining as well. Isn't it sufficient that men encourage men? Can women have anything good to say to edify and build up a man that another man can't do more effectively?

I answer with another question, why then did God create a woman for Adam and not another man as a companion? We do have other roles other than child bearing and "recreational" roles. The role I speak of is that of undergirder. I use undergird instead of "help mate" or even companion, because both of those terms are personal and in direct contact with the recipient as in that of a wife, friend or acquaintance. However, undergirder is broader and can be both personal and general.

When I think of something that undergirds I think of a saddle on a horse. (I know that does not sound very flattering for the women that are reading this.) If that saddle is not properly positioned and secured, the rider can take a terrible fall, even to his or her death. Undergird means to "strengthen, to brace up, to make secure underneath," according to Merriam-Webster. Just as a head without a body is a freakish spectacle, so is a body without a head. God in his wisdom created an order of things. It is when we go outside that order that the system breaks down. Now are there exceptions to the rule? Of course there is. We see that in the prophetess Deborah, but it's not God's norm. When there are no men willing or able to take the lead, then God will use a woman or child, for that matter, to lead. However, I want to establish the biblical concept of the general role of women as that of undergirders. As strong as I may be viewed by others and may feel on my own, I recognize the important godly role that I serve as an undergirder.

In my book, Celebrating Men, I recount some painful experiences at the hands of men. I've received many comments that focus on the "negative" experiences. The "negative" experiences don't stand out in my own mind. It reminds me of how one views a glass; is it half full or half empty? I find that I've had way more positive experiences with men than negative ones. I believe the Word of God which says that "...ALL things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to his purposes" (Romans 8:28). I actually believe the Word of God which also says to "consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you go through trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance,"  and that "perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" in James 1:2-4. I may not understand perfectly or always walk in it right away, but I do love the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and believe his Word is true. Whether I understand it completely or not, to the best of my ability, I strive to walk according to his commands and his divine order.

I wrote Celebrating Men because it was primarily because of the influence of men in my life that I am who I am today. It is my testimony and my tribute to men and to point the way back to them as God's key to the building of healthy families, communities, churches and society. They are even God's key in the development of healthy women. Let me say one more thing here to address some comments that I've heard from the men because a woman was used to write this book. This is not simply about the effect you have or can have on girls and women. If you think that you've missed the point. For whatever reason, God chose you as the head of the family. Families are not made up of just women and girl children. Yes, since I am female, I write from a female perspective and experiences. But your impact, the principles I espouse in the book and many of the experiences apply to boys and girls, men and women and those that are confused about which they are - male or female.

Though I am lifting up your general role or essence of manhood, I also recognize many of you do not understand or acknowledge your unique role and authority or get this, know what to do with it. That is the reason for the subtitle: Predator, Protector or Confused? Many women do not know or understand your role either because they've not seen many accurate representatives of the man God created you to be which has made it difficult for many of us to execute our role as that of an undergirder. However, I use God's Word as the standard. His ways are much higher than our ways and his thoughts much higher than our thoughts. It is he who said about those in authority and leadership roles that we are to obey or honor them regardless of whether they are good to us or harsh in their dealings with us (See 1 Peter 2:13- 3:7). How that is played out in each of our lives is going to be as different as each of us are unique. That is why Paul said, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling" (Phil. 2:12). Man you have your unique responsibilities and women you do to. In the end, we will all have to give an account to God for how we lived our lives.

It's time we respectfully review, discuss, explore and resurrect these biblical principles and how they apply to every stage in our lives.

God bless.

Intro

     I find the responses that I get when men and women hear the title of my book very interesting indeed. The three typical responses are: "It's about time!" "What is there to celebrate about men?" and "That's interesting." You can probably guess which gender gives the first two remarks. The third remark I've gotten from both camps.

     There is a growing movement to honor men, of which I am happy to see because regardless of our experiences whether you're a male reading this or a female, whether you've had good experiences or disheartening ones in regards to the men in your life, the fact still remains that man was created in the image of God. Admittingly, with the entry of sin on the scene, we've become a grossly warped image of God, but that's why Jesus came - to bring reconciliation and restoration for those who will receive him. That, my friends, is the premise of this book. Regardless of where you are and where you've been; regardless of whether you've been a predator, a protector or confused about your manhood, God has a vested interest in your life. You may not currently be someone that is viewed with honor because of your lifestyle, because of immorality and sin. But the Word of God said that we have "...all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23. All means ALL, whether you think you've lived an honorable life or an immoral one and whether you are a man or a woman, we've all fallen short of who God created us to be.

     Through my book and in this blog I hope to raise awareness and advocate change in lives and attitudes in men and women. However, true and lasting or eternal change is something that only God can do in and for you. I look forward to your interaction via your comments, emails and answers to the survey questions that will be posed now and then. Until then, God Bless!

***The group discussion guide called Celebrating Men Companion will be released at the end of May 2011. It is designed to complement the orginal book and facilitate lively discussion among men through men's bible study meetings, book clubs, etc. (Though women can also participate, the questions are all directed specifically to men.)