Why is a Woman Writing About Celebrating Men?

Why as a woman, do I have a book and a blog about celebrating men? What do I know about men? Those are the questions I get and some of you may be entertaining as well. Isn't it sufficient that men encourage men? Can women have anything good to say to edify and build up a man that another man can't do more effectively?

I answer with another question, why then did God create a woman for Adam and not another man as a companion? We do have other roles other than child bearing and "recreational" roles. The role I speak of is that of undergirder. I use undergird instead of "help mate" or even companion, because both of those terms are personal and in direct contact with the recipient as in that of a wife, friend or acquaintance. However, undergirder is broader and can be both personal and general.

When I think of something that undergirds I think of a saddle on a horse. (I know that does not sound very flattering for the women that are reading this.) If that saddle is not properly positioned and secured, the rider can take a terrible fall, even to his or her death. Undergird means to "strengthen, to brace up, to make secure underneath," according to Merriam-Webster. Just as a head without a body is a freakish spectacle, so is a body without a head. God in his wisdom created an order of things. It is when we go outside that order that the system breaks down. Now are there exceptions to the rule? Of course there is. We see that in the prophetess Deborah, but it's not God's norm. When there are no men willing or able to take the lead, then God will use a woman or child, for that matter, to lead. However, I want to establish the biblical concept of the general role of women as that of undergirders. As strong as I may be viewed by others and may feel on my own, I recognize the important godly role that I serve as an undergirder.

In my book, Celebrating Men, I recount some painful experiences at the hands of men. I've received many comments that focus on the "negative" experiences. The "negative" experiences don't stand out in my own mind. It reminds me of how one views a glass; is it half full or half empty? I find that I've had way more positive experiences with men than negative ones. I believe the Word of God which says that "...ALL things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to his purposes" (Romans 8:28). I actually believe the Word of God which also says to "consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you go through trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance,"  and that "perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" in James 1:2-4. I may not understand perfectly or always walk in it right away, but I do love the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and believe his Word is true. Whether I understand it completely or not, to the best of my ability, I strive to walk according to his commands and his divine order.

I wrote Celebrating Men because it was primarily because of the influence of men in my life that I am who I am today. It is my testimony and my tribute to men and to point the way back to them as God's key to the building of healthy families, communities, churches and society. They are even God's key in the development of healthy women. Let me say one more thing here to address some comments that I've heard from the men because a woman was used to write this book. This is not simply about the effect you have or can have on girls and women. If you think that you've missed the point. For whatever reason, God chose you as the head of the family. Families are not made up of just women and girl children. Yes, since I am female, I write from a female perspective and experiences. But your impact, the principles I espouse in the book and many of the experiences apply to boys and girls, men and women and those that are confused about which they are - male or female.

Though I am lifting up your general role or essence of manhood, I also recognize many of you do not understand or acknowledge your unique role and authority or get this, know what to do with it. That is the reason for the subtitle: Predator, Protector or Confused? Many women do not know or understand your role either because they've not seen many accurate representatives of the man God created you to be which has made it difficult for many of us to execute our role as that of an undergirder. However, I use God's Word as the standard. His ways are much higher than our ways and his thoughts much higher than our thoughts. It is he who said about those in authority and leadership roles that we are to obey or honor them regardless of whether they are good to us or harsh in their dealings with us (See 1 Peter 2:13- 3:7). How that is played out in each of our lives is going to be as different as each of us are unique. That is why Paul said, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling" (Phil. 2:12). Man you have your unique responsibilities and women you do to. In the end, we will all have to give an account to God for how we lived our lives.

It's time we respectfully review, discuss, explore and resurrect these biblical principles and how they apply to every stage in our lives.

God bless.