Due Diligence

I have heard the following Scripture quoted and recited over and over again: "'...For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord..." Jeremiah 29:11-12. However, I have never heard it quoted within its full context. It is in its full context that I find this promise most fruitful.

In the previous verses beginning with verse 4 it is written: "This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon. 'Build houses and settle down, plant gardens and eat what they produce...Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper'... This is what the Lord says, 'When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you..."

After reading this passage this morning I was reminded of a due diligence process I underwent recently while applying for a couple of jobs in the financial field. I found the process extensive and tedious but also educational and rewarding. In the passage above God made some promises to Israel but it's his declaration and instruction before the promises that caught my attention this time. He says that, he, God, carried the Israelites into exile which would last for seventy years! (We know from reading the book of Jeremiah that God punished the Israelites in this way due to their rebellion.) But God still loved them and instructed them to build, prosper and pray for the cities he exiled them to so that they could prosper. Then after seventy years he would bring them out of exile. The nation of Israel was being corrected, chastised, and during that process pruned and developed before bringing them into their next season. God told them to pray for their cities that they would prosper, to marry and give in marriage; build houses and gardens. But they would remain in exile, in captivity for seventy years before he brought them out...

I saw this as a spiritual due diligence. God will test us. He will try us. He will allow us to go through trials and tribulations for our own spiritual and character development. It is, if you will, his due diligence process. Abraham went through it. He waited twenty-four years for the son promised him and then was told to offer him up as a sacrifice. Moses went through it. Joseph went through it. David went through it. Everyone who follows God goes through it and the greater the calling, the greater the due diligence process.

My mind switched from the spiritual due diligence process to a more natural one that again, I find many fail to process. This other due diligence is one of relationships, especially that of courtship for marriage. In many cultures around the world there is still a due diligence process associated with finding a proper or compatible mate. However, in the US, eight times out of ten, we've abandoned this valuable process and embraced a Hollywood, cotton candy or "if it feels good, do it" approach to marriage and relationships. This is true even in many Christian circles. The problem with feelings is that they change pretty quickly when tried. Feelings are fickle and quite frankly, making such decisions based on how we feel at the moment is not biblical. We are instructed to "walk by faith, not by sight". We are instructed to "Count it all joy when we go through diverse trials and tribulations because we know that the trying of our faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete." (James 1:2-4 )

I am amazed at how many times over the years that I have been encouraged to get married because 1) "I'm not getting any younger," 2) "He's a good guy," 3) "He's a Christian," 4) "He's well established," and so on. When I didn't budge I would then be accused of being a perfectionist or asked, "What's wrong with him?" or "What's wrong with you?"

As on many resumes and job applications, it's been proven that many people lie. They put their best foot forward and go beyond their best and begin to fabricate qualities. The same applies in many relationships initially. We put our best foot and face forward. However, over time and when quality time is spent with most individuals, their true character and their level of faith in God is revealed. Surely, if God tests us to see what is in our hearts, we ought to test a prospective spouse. Even some animals and birds like the eagle, have mating rituals to test for the appropriate mates.

Do you have a due diligence process? It would be interesting to learn what process you use. I recommend you saturate the process with prayer. Repeatedly in the passage I used for today I read where God instructed the Israelites to pray for or pray and seek God for peace and prosperity. When you pray about these matters, if don't you get an answer, don't move forward-wait. What's the rush? On your own you'll just mess it up anyway and have to start the process all over again. You have to learn to do your due diligence. How does this person handle themself in various situations? How do they handle money matters? Do they have integrity with others? What is their spiritual and general goals in life? Are they spiritually compatible? Having said all that, has God given you the green light to move forward? If not, wait, there's a reason or a lesson God wants to teach you. He may be pruning and preparing you. The timing may not be right just yet.

There is someone that's been apart of my life for seventeen years. Nothing "wrong" with him and nothing "wrong" with me. In my mind and spirit, we were not compatible. Something was always missing. He'd asked me several times to get married and I could not give him a positive answer. However, twice over the years of our friendship and off and on relationship, I had convinced myself to marry him. Both times when I tried to tell him "yes," the Holy Spirit stopped me and we would go through a period of silence for months or even years. I just thought he wasn't the one.

Then, a month ago, after I completely surrendered my desire for marriage to God, meaning, whichever state God wanted for me to be in was fine with me. Within a week God revealed to me that this friend of mine who'd been in my life for so long  was indeed God's choice for me. Having said that, however, I still don't know when. In the meantime, I continue to have plenty to do in service to the Lord while I wait for God to bring that revelation to reality. It's all about God's timing, not mine or ours. We're still under God's pruning knife. My friend told me several months ago that he knows that I'm the one for him. I didn't have the same conviction at the time. I do now but due to our special circumstances, we have to wait a while longer for God to bring it to pass.

Submit to God's due diligence in your spiritual walk and develop due diligence in your courtship process. It will be challenging at times but the end thereof will be so much more rewarding.


See yesterday's post: How to Address Your Woman & Weight Issues
My other blog: www.wealthofcharacter.blogspot.com
Most recent post: Are We Confused? (3/22/12)

Weighing In

     Recently I received an overall review of this site and of my book that indicated that I was addressing what a man is. I honestly hadn't thought I was addressing the makeup of a man. From my point of view, which notably is from a Christian perspective, I was recognizing the powerful and influential role of men in our lives; encouraging more awareness of this and encouraging more men to consider operating in their protective role more so than in their predatory role. There is reference in both the book and blog that some men are confused about their role. I suppose by making that reference I am making a type of judgment on what a true or biblically defined man is. Well then, I guess it is so.


The reviewer commented that he'd heard many definitions of men and since he was not a Christian, my definition did not really apply to him. However, commented later on his review that he did agree with my overall description and appeal to the integrity and honor of men was universal, transcending religion. If you don't mind, I would like for you to weigh in. If you have read the book or read some of my blog posts, do you find that my focus is on defining what a man is or primarily what he, man, should aspire to be? I think there is a marked difference.


I make no argument that my foundation for the aspiration of manhood, the ideal of the most productive and beneficial man to his family and society, is a biblical one. Just because I use the Bible as my guide, however, this does not mean that the basic values of integrity, honor, leadership and man's role in society and family are not largely universal. (I say largely, because I am aware of changing culture in some countries that are espousing homosexuality and same sex marriages. I am also aware that in a few ancient cultures, matriarchal rule was the core of their culture. There is only one culture I have found that still practices a quasi-matriarchal rule today: the Mosuo in the Xiaolianghshan Mountains of the Yunnin Province in China.)


Granted, there are all kinds of conversations ensuing today on manhood and leadership. Please note that any discussion I engage in concerning the matter will always seek to be uplifting but also real. My discussions will also inevitably reference the Bible, in particular, Christ, as the guide for manhood. It has been brought to my attention that the values of manhood I espouse in my book and on this site predate Christianity. I agree. I don't agree, however, that it predates the account of creation given in Genesis of the Bible, the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Tenakh (Hebrew and partly Aramaic "Bible") in which God said He created man in His own image. That is not to say that there are not other, possibly even older writings that espouse the same values of manhood or that some cultures practised these values of manhood before the Torah was enacted and later transcribed. I do believe, however, that the epitome of manhood is found in Christ who is as the Bible states, the fulfillment of the Law, the Torah, i.e.,, the embodiment of the Law, the completion of it. (See footnotes for references.) God, who created man in His own image, sent His Son, Jesus, to demonstrate manhood and the ideal mankind to mankind. So, why would I look to flawed humanity, with its partial understandings, its misunderstandings and flawed perceptions for the perfect example of a man when the creator of man became one to show us how one should live? (If you want to argue the validity of the cannon/Bible or Tenakh, that is another discussion.)


I have heard it said, that the US Department of the Treasury and many bankers, in order to decipher counterfeit bills from authentic bills, they spend their time studying the authentic bills. They get to know them so well that when they encounter a counterfeit bill, it's more easily detected. That is why I study the Son of God who became, the Son of Man, as my model for not only man, but mankind.


Please weigh in. Your responses are welcome.

***If you are interested in viewing the entire comment that inspired the current post, please go to www.Amazon.com, the books section, type in "Celebrating Men by B. Niles" and view comment #2. 

  
Bible Text References:
Man created in God's image: Gen.1:26-27, Gen. 2:7
Fulfillment of the law: Matt. 5:17-20, Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 2:1-3:29.