Don't Believe the Hype

      Everywhere we turn in today's society we are inundated with messages about or alluding to sex. Satan has saturated our society with sexually immoral messages. It's in most television shows and commercials, the movies, the billboards, magazines and grocery and retail stores. Sexy fashions are boldly displayed in retail store windows on mannequins, posters and on bodies, young and old. Book covers, calendars, bumper stickers, girls standing by the roadside with advertising signs; everywhere we look we see images of sex and sensuality. After awhile you can't help but think, "everyone is doing it," or "this is the norm." Therefore, when one comes along who does not follow the hype, he or she is viewed as abnormal.

That is all understandable, however, it should be unacceptable for the body of Christ. I find that many Christian men and women have not had their minds renewed and this is one of the underlying points that Celebrating Men addresses. I want to celebrate, uplift or honor the men who strive to do the right thing and the godly thing in all their relationships. The book isn't just addressing men in relationships with women, but with their children, their community, their marriages, their church and their friendships. The book looks at men in each of those settings; at different stages in the author's life and how they impacted her for good regardless of the initial experience, whether it was good or painful.

The testimony shared, I believe, is uplifting and honoring, however, it doesn't ignore the faults of the men involved and recognizes that none of us are perfect and neither were they. That does not mean there aren't aspects and qualities worth honoring. The author also encourages, and yes, appeals to men, especially Christian men, to renew their minds in regards to how they relate to girls and women.

As Christians, we can't afford to believe the hype of the world or ascribe to the world's view concerning most relationships. If we are truly disciples of Christ, which is where the term "Christian" is derived, then as Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:16, "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view...Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come!" 

I have a couple of male friends that are in their forties that are also virgins. They became Believers as teenagers. One has three degrees (Engineer, MBA, and Law degree), the other is an officer in the military and they're both attractive men. I also know of a couple other women, two of which married at age 45 and both were virgins when they married. I am not such an anomaly after all then. Maybe to the world in this age I (we) are, but to the body of Christ, I (we) should not be. The voice of the North American/European world is simply louder. There are many Christians and some non-Christians, that are out there waiting for marriage before becoming sexually active.

"Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" (1 Cor. 15:33) It's important to watch the company you keep. What is that saying, "Birds of a feather flock together"? We need to do a better job at fleshing out the Word of God, that includes, not being ashamed to share our testimony so that others would be encouraged and not feel alone. John recorded in Revelations 12:11 that we will overcome our accuser by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. We need to speak up.

Elijah, the prophet in 1 Kings 19 felt all alone after being rejected by the Israelites and found himself running for his life because King Ahab had killed all the other prophets and Ahab's wife, Jezebel wanted Elijah dead as well - "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely," she said, " if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." So the Lord came to Elijah and reminded him that He, God, was with him. Elijah told God, "The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too" (1 Kings 19:14), as if God didn't already know what was going on. I love the Lord's response to him, part of which was, "Yet I (have) reserved seven thousand in Israel-all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him" (Verse 18). God knows how to preserve a remnant who won't bow down to the gods of this world. Don't believe the hype!

Weighing In

     Recently I received an overall review of this site and of my book that indicated that I was addressing what a man is. I honestly hadn't thought I was addressing the makeup of a man. From my point of view, which notably is from a Christian perspective, I was recognizing the powerful and influential role of men in our lives; encouraging more awareness of this and encouraging more men to consider operating in their protective role more so than in their predatory role. There is reference in both the book and blog that some men are confused about their role. I suppose by making that reference I am making a type of judgment on what a true or biblically defined man is. Well then, I guess it is so.


The reviewer commented that he'd heard many definitions of men and since he was not a Christian, my definition did not really apply to him. However, commented later on his review that he did agree with my overall description and appeal to the integrity and honor of men was universal, transcending religion. If you don't mind, I would like for you to weigh in. If you have read the book or read some of my blog posts, do you find that my focus is on defining what a man is or primarily what he, man, should aspire to be? I think there is a marked difference.


I make no argument that my foundation for the aspiration of manhood, the ideal of the most productive and beneficial man to his family and society, is a biblical one. Just because I use the Bible as my guide, however, this does not mean that the basic values of integrity, honor, leadership and man's role in society and family are not largely universal. (I say largely, because I am aware of changing culture in some countries that are espousing homosexuality and same sex marriages. I am also aware that in a few ancient cultures, matriarchal rule was the core of their culture. There is only one culture I have found that still practices a quasi-matriarchal rule today: the Mosuo in the Xiaolianghshan Mountains of the Yunnin Province in China.)


Granted, there are all kinds of conversations ensuing today on manhood and leadership. Please note that any discussion I engage in concerning the matter will always seek to be uplifting but also real. My discussions will also inevitably reference the Bible, in particular, Christ, as the guide for manhood. It has been brought to my attention that the values of manhood I espouse in my book and on this site predate Christianity. I agree. I don't agree, however, that it predates the account of creation given in Genesis of the Bible, the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Tenakh (Hebrew and partly Aramaic "Bible") in which God said He created man in His own image. That is not to say that there are not other, possibly even older writings that espouse the same values of manhood or that some cultures practised these values of manhood before the Torah was enacted and later transcribed. I do believe, however, that the epitome of manhood is found in Christ who is as the Bible states, the fulfillment of the Law, the Torah, i.e.,, the embodiment of the Law, the completion of it. (See footnotes for references.) God, who created man in His own image, sent His Son, Jesus, to demonstrate manhood and the ideal mankind to mankind. So, why would I look to flawed humanity, with its partial understandings, its misunderstandings and flawed perceptions for the perfect example of a man when the creator of man became one to show us how one should live? (If you want to argue the validity of the cannon/Bible or Tenakh, that is another discussion.)


I have heard it said, that the US Department of the Treasury and many bankers, in order to decipher counterfeit bills from authentic bills, they spend their time studying the authentic bills. They get to know them so well that when they encounter a counterfeit bill, it's more easily detected. That is why I study the Son of God who became, the Son of Man, as my model for not only man, but mankind.


Please weigh in. Your responses are welcome.

***If you are interested in viewing the entire comment that inspired the current post, please go to www.Amazon.com, the books section, type in "Celebrating Men by B. Niles" and view comment #2. 

  
Bible Text References:
Man created in God's image: Gen.1:26-27, Gen. 2:7
Fulfillment of the law: Matt. 5:17-20, Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 2:1-3:29.

Bass Voice or Bass Life?

I love a man with a deep bass voice. It just sounds so masculine to me. (We all have our idiosyncrasies and preferences. I have heard some men express that they wish their girlfriends were a little slimmer. Some of my friends in the past have repeatedly tried to get me to gain weight. I have also heard a female friend of mine express her initial concern that she was bigger than her beau. So we all have our little preferences and we are ALL fearfully and wonderfully made.) If you were to ask my sisters, what kind of man I like, they will invariably describe the man physically almost to a tee due to my previous relationships and expressed desires. They would consider a godly man to be a given.


However, I have a friend who has most of the qualities I look for in a man, but does not have much "bass" in his voice. It has troubled me a little. So I talked to the Lord about this recently and the Holy Spirit asked me, "Would you rather a man with a bass voice or a bass life?" Cool huh?! That was powerful. At first I said, both. But if I had to choose, I said I would prefer a man with a bass life. This friend of mine then, is an incredible bass.


Now what in the world am I talking about? A man with a deep bass or baritone voice signifies, without question, that he's a man (or so it used to be). If you heard such a voice on the phone you would typically associate the voice with a man and not a woman. Even if his name was "Melissa," because of the bass voice, you would automatically assume you were still speaking with a man. His life-style and manliness once you got to know him, however, might be questionable. But from first appearances, or first hearing of the voice, you might assume, he's a mans man.


I am artistic and melodic and love the sound of a bass voice. However, a man's voice is not indicative of the man himself. It is the man's life, his communication, his character, his values that determine the bass of his life and that is what the Holy Spirit was reminding me of. "Would you rather a man with a bass voice or a bass life?" My resounding answer: "A bass life."


The depth of the bass in a man's life bridges from his beliefs and values to his character. It is one thing to spout your beliefs. It's another thing to live them. Your character is most powerfully displayed when you are stripped bare or face trying times. How you respond in times of testing, whether mild or severe, displays your true character. The man that stands strong with integrity through times of severe trials, has the most beautiful bass life there is. The man that maintains his faith and convictions in spite of persecution and misunderstanding, has a beautiful bass. The man that remains faithful to God and his wife even if she has proved unfaithful, has a beautiful bass. The man who takes care of his family, has a beautiful bass. The man who doesn't cheat or lie to get ahead, has a beautiful bass. The man who has fallen short of any or all of the above and sincerely repents and seeks forgiveness and restitution, has a beautiful bass.


Without question, "...all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). I find his voice and life so beautiful, he that confesses his failures (humility), but fights daily to walk by faith and live righteously (godly). What a man! What a beautiful bass!