First Impressions of Manhood

"First impressions are constant in society...

good ones are pleasant and long lasting,

bad ones long and difficult to disprove."

                          ~Diego Velasquez

"Train up a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old he will not depart from it."

                          ~Proverbs 22:6

"It is better to train a child than correct a man."

                          ~Unknown

Whether you are a father or a mother, you are an example and an influence in a child's life, be it a good example or a bad one. You are the child's first and possibly the most influential instructor of the picture of manhood. Yes, mothers, you are too. How you treat your husband, how you treat your man, what you say about him in front of your children, influences their picture of manhood, just as certainly as the man's carriage of himself and behavior towards men, women and children.


Fathers, responsible fathers and father figures, we need you. It takes a village to raise a child, so when biological fathers are not present, for whatever the reason, men, step up and step in. Who knows, one day you may not be around to aid in the raising of your own child. Would you not want someone to be there for him or her to represent and nurture them in your absence? Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. Stand in the gap.


I thank God that he placed several father figures and representations of God's love for me in my life as I was growing up. I'm thankful that my mom always presented a respectful attitude towards my father, and men in general, in our presence. A healthy respect for God's order and God's creation, generates a healthy respect for oneself.

Why is a Woman Writing About Celebrating Men?

Why as a woman, do I have a book and a blog about celebrating men? What do I know about men? Those are the questions I get and some of you may be entertaining as well. Isn't it sufficient that men encourage men? Can women have anything good to say to edify and build up a man that another man can't do more effectively?

I answer with another question, why then did God create a woman for Adam and not another man as a companion? We do have other roles other than child bearing and "recreational" roles. The role I speak of is that of undergirder. I use undergird instead of "help mate" or even companion, because both of those terms are personal and in direct contact with the recipient as in that of a wife, friend or acquaintance. However, undergirder is broader and can be both personal and general.

When I think of something that undergirds I think of a saddle on a horse. (I know that does not sound very flattering for the women that are reading this.) If that saddle is not properly positioned and secured, the rider can take a terrible fall, even to his or her death. Undergird means to "strengthen, to brace up, to make secure underneath," according to Merriam-Webster. Just as a head without a body is a freakish spectacle, so is a body without a head. God in his wisdom created an order of things. It is when we go outside that order that the system breaks down. Now are there exceptions to the rule? Of course there is. We see that in the prophetess Deborah, but it's not God's norm. When there are no men willing or able to take the lead, then God will use a woman or child, for that matter, to lead. However, I want to establish the biblical concept of the general role of women as that of undergirders. As strong as I may be viewed by others and may feel on my own, I recognize the important godly role that I serve as an undergirder.

In my book, Celebrating Men, I recount some painful experiences at the hands of men. I've received many comments that focus on the "negative" experiences. The "negative" experiences don't stand out in my own mind. It reminds me of how one views a glass; is it half full or half empty? I find that I've had way more positive experiences with men than negative ones. I believe the Word of God which says that "...ALL things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to his purposes" (Romans 8:28). I actually believe the Word of God which also says to "consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you go through trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance,"  and that "perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" in James 1:2-4. I may not understand perfectly or always walk in it right away, but I do love the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and believe his Word is true. Whether I understand it completely or not, to the best of my ability, I strive to walk according to his commands and his divine order.

I wrote Celebrating Men because it was primarily because of the influence of men in my life that I am who I am today. It is my testimony and my tribute to men and to point the way back to them as God's key to the building of healthy families, communities, churches and society. They are even God's key in the development of healthy women. Let me say one more thing here to address some comments that I've heard from the men because a woman was used to write this book. This is not simply about the effect you have or can have on girls and women. If you think that you've missed the point. For whatever reason, God chose you as the head of the family. Families are not made up of just women and girl children. Yes, since I am female, I write from a female perspective and experiences. But your impact, the principles I espouse in the book and many of the experiences apply to boys and girls, men and women and those that are confused about which they are - male or female.

Though I am lifting up your general role or essence of manhood, I also recognize many of you do not understand or acknowledge your unique role and authority or get this, know what to do with it. That is the reason for the subtitle: Predator, Protector or Confused? Many women do not know or understand your role either because they've not seen many accurate representatives of the man God created you to be which has made it difficult for many of us to execute our role as that of an undergirder. However, I use God's Word as the standard. His ways are much higher than our ways and his thoughts much higher than our thoughts. It is he who said about those in authority and leadership roles that we are to obey or honor them regardless of whether they are good to us or harsh in their dealings with us (See 1 Peter 2:13- 3:7). How that is played out in each of our lives is going to be as different as each of us are unique. That is why Paul said, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling" (Phil. 2:12). Man you have your unique responsibilities and women you do to. In the end, we will all have to give an account to God for how we lived our lives.

It's time we respectfully review, discuss, explore and resurrect these biblical principles and how they apply to every stage in our lives.

God bless.

Intro

     I find the responses that I get when men and women hear the title of my book very interesting indeed. The three typical responses are: "It's about time!" "What is there to celebrate about men?" and "That's interesting." You can probably guess which gender gives the first two remarks. The third remark I've gotten from both camps.

     There is a growing movement to honor men, of which I am happy to see because regardless of our experiences whether you're a male reading this or a female, whether you've had good experiences or disheartening ones in regards to the men in your life, the fact still remains that man was created in the image of God. Admittingly, with the entry of sin on the scene, we've become a grossly warped image of God, but that's why Jesus came - to bring reconciliation and restoration for those who will receive him. That, my friends, is the premise of this book. Regardless of where you are and where you've been; regardless of whether you've been a predator, a protector or confused about your manhood, God has a vested interest in your life. You may not currently be someone that is viewed with honor because of your lifestyle, because of immorality and sin. But the Word of God said that we have "...all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23. All means ALL, whether you think you've lived an honorable life or an immoral one and whether you are a man or a woman, we've all fallen short of who God created us to be.

     Through my book and in this blog I hope to raise awareness and advocate change in lives and attitudes in men and women. However, true and lasting or eternal change is something that only God can do in and for you. I look forward to your interaction via your comments, emails and answers to the survey questions that will be posed now and then. Until then, God Bless!

***The group discussion guide called Celebrating Men Companion will be released at the end of May 2011. It is designed to complement the orginal book and facilitate lively discussion among men through men's bible study meetings, book clubs, etc. (Though women can also participate, the questions are all directed specifically to men.)